40+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 10, 2026 6:00 PM EST

If you're not keeping up with Twitter, then you're missing out on a lot. There are a lot of cultural touchdowns that seem to only happen on that particular website. If you're out of touch with it for even just a little bit, then getting back into it is almost impossible. The jokes have gone so far that you've missed out on the whole thing. There are layers of jokes that you will just never understand without years of having been on Twitter. And you might think that's for the best. Maybe you're fine to miss out on some extremely online jokes in order to have your sanity about you. But you'd be mistaken. It's all worth it. Who needs a clear mind and a positive worldview anyway? Where has that gotten anyone? But for real, you're either an online demon or an offline saint, and it's hard to become one if you're the other. If you're here, you're probably an online demon, and we welcome you with open arms. You're home here. We're the folks who have stuck it out through thick and thin. Maybe we got online back when it still seemed promising and fun, and now it's too late. 

We've already sold our souls to our internet providers, and there is nothing we can do to get them back. But we kind of like wallowing in the muck of online life. It's more fun down here. Sure, it's messy and a little bit chaotic, but it's our chaos. And we're in it for life. 

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  • These tweets are for an online people, by an online people. They're the best of the internet as we have it right now, and we're happy to be among them. Since we've already bargained our consciousness away, might as well enjoy the fruits of it. We're online people who like being online, and this is what's good about it. We don't have to pretend to be anything we're not. We can enjoy stupid tweets that only make sense to us, and we don't have to explain them to anyone else. It's why we come to this list week after week. 

  • 01
    Mxim @sugeezy I had a million opportunities to waste money this year and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn't an opportunity, I created one. 12:07 PM 12/27/25 5.3M Views ➜ 724 190K 344K 12K ↑
    via sugeezy
  • 02
    Mike F @DeputyWarlock if i ever found out a mouse lived in my home, and he had a small archway in the wall, and he lived in there with small, real furniture, and he ventured out nightly to get one olive or a small wedge of cheese. i would stop at nothing to end his life. i would spare no expense 11:09 PM 9/27/24 6.3M Views 655 120K 248K 11K
    via DeputyWarlock
  • 03
    R SWEET etas noitin emistoa neq apnivisa 8 K08) asasiq St exle gnt S 00 te lato? Sedanbydoding InfoT QAS ESQU2 02 babDA DAS mbuloni OT patch kids Why the hell is there a Shaq gummy in my sour Ash @AshWithFur
    via AshWithFur
  • 04
    Ellis McPickle @nicelederhosen Hey @Nestle USA you owe me one cookie 12:04 AM 12/30/25 6.5M Views 391 11.5K 147K ☐ 2.7K 企 CHOCOLATE CHIP
    via nicelederhosen
  • 05
    james hawkins ❤ @james406 it's messed up that there a million songs about love but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders • 2:00 PM 12/29/25 465K Views 111 1 3.1K 25K ☐ 1.1K .↑.
    via james406
  • 06
    THE.IAST TOP @jusLikeMike911 Done fucked up the church's money solé ✔ @layxsnv. 1d Ma'am just go home 7:55 PM 12/28/25 2.8M Views 484 13K $6076.40 284.83 EGENDS RAPID EMPAGNIS DRAGONS 136K ☐ 2.8K 企
    via jusLikeMike911
  • 07
    crittur @miwwmiu Commenting" obviously ai” on pictures of happy couples 8:35 AM 12/29/25 649K Views 58 17 3.7K 55K ☐ 964 ↑
    via miwwmiu
  • 08
    ol' stocky O @oldstocky How it feels to be the only person at the grocery store not wearing sweatpants 10:50 AM 12/28/25 968K Views 349 17 2.6K 54K ☐ 2K ↑
    via oldstocky
  • 09
    Lady Emily @GreatCheshire For people who think the hivemind from Pluribus seems like a good thing, you have to realize that becoming one with every single person on the planet means becoming a League of Legends player without your consent 11:58 AM 12/31/25 258K Views 45 17 2K 23K 906
    via GreatCheshire
  • 10
    Second City Bureaucrat @CityBureaucrat We used to have a real service economy Historic Vids @historyinmemes. 20h A Nintendo Power Line representative coaching a player through The Legend of Zelda over the phone, 1990s. 8:55 AM 12/27/25 726K Views 66 12.7K B 37K ☐ 2.1K ↑
    via CityBureaucrat
  • 11
    Farfa @FarfaYGO Bro even IKEA "randomly" selecting me An IKEA coworker is on their way to help you. You were randomly selected for a spot-check B Ways to pay VISA Lane/5000 ingenico 274300 13 4 IKEA
    via FarfaYGO
  • 12
    JP ** @Awakenjp A healthy Waffle House staff could go toe to toe with the Avengers Hoops @Hoopss 23h Which staff would win this brawl? McDonald's M M 12:57 PM 12/30/25 549K Views 98 2.9K WAFFLE 000000000000 31K 649 ↑
    via Awakenjp
  • 13
    When you finally reach Japan but you dont see JUST MIHTM @HUMUORn any subtitles 味てつあり 1997 日本でがつ 広々とした 113K ☐ 3.4K 企 12:24 AM・12/26/25 1.9M Views 380 9.9K
    via HUMUORn
  • 14
    Robert Sterling ❤ @RobertMSterling POV: you took your wife serious when she told you not to get her any presents this year 7:01 PM 12/25/25 2.6M Views 156 [ 1.1K 40K 1.1K ↑
    via RobertMSterling
  • 15
    user @user84829272 Basic Costco members should not be allowed to look Executive Members in the eyes • 2:15 PM 12/26/25 1M Views 200 2.1K 30K ☐ 1.1K ↑
    via user84829272
  • 16
    diana + @_diana_salam is just me or she wasn't as present this year? kira @kirawontmiss. 1d mariah carey you can go back to hibernation now 3:02 AM 12/26/25 16M Views ◇ 1.9K 17 18K 455K 6K 企
    via _diana_salam
  • 17
    Josh RR Jokien @joshcarlosjosh I can't explain it but this time between Christmas and Jan 1st always feels like this shot from The Fellowship of the Ring: ALT 11:36 AM 12/26/25 883K Views 58 14.9K 48K 1.8K 企
    via joshcarlosjosh
  • 18
    Ball Fiddler @Freesweats I respect the hell out of dudes that like heinous Instagram reels knowing full well that everyone can see their interaction with the post . 12:34 AM 12/26/25 1.3M Views • 201 1 3.1K 73K ☐ 2.6K ↑
    via Freesweats
  • 19
    naa @naagelatin i hope language never stops evolving jimmy @jimmysoldout .4d ex eyecontactship just walked into the gym 8:09 AM 12/28/25 5.2M Views 175 25K 400K ☐ 10K 企 8
    via naagelatin
  • 20
    Carol Roth @caroljsroth Pilot: "we've landed 40 minutes early!" <Spends the next 50 minutes sitting on the runway waiting for a gate> . 2:51 PM 12/27/25 933K Views 236 2.1K 57K ☐ 322
    via caroljsroth
  • 21
    DaddyJew @DaddyJew they should make a sleep where it feels like you've slept 8:27 AM 12/28/25 1.8M Views • 81 10K 85K 1.3K
    via DaddyJew
  • 22
    Matty McTech ❤ @setupspawn To everyone who received a computer for Christmas: 33 SS SS Do not plug your monitor in here PLUG YOUR MONITOR IN HERE
    via setupspawn
  • 23
    bailey⭑ @Baileymoon15 my heart sunk for a second timothée chalamet nation @timothee... 4d Timothée Chalamet posted an old photo with his dad for his birthday Instagram post. • Last edited 5:29 PM 12/28/25 17M Views 1.1K 16K 508K 12K 企
    via Baileymoon15
  • 24
    roseeee @roramdin Finished two books on the plane and started a third while the person next to me scrolled reels the whole time 3:23 AM 12/27/25.8.5M Views 830 17.9K 256K ☐ 11K 企
    via roramdin
  • 25
    Serious Will @meatsauce200 The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a lil while to start singing . 8:25 PM 12/26/25 1.4M Views 181 17 5.4K 62K ☐ 2K ↑
    via meatsauce200
  • 26
    Joseph ❤ @ihyJosephX1 looks like a watch from burger king JR @ResilienceX3.21h $2,500,000 Richard Mille Blue Sapphire Skull Tourbillon RICHARD MILLE 19153 WADE IT 9:29 AM 12/31/25 2.7M Views 1K 17.3K 150K 1.4K ↑
    via ihyJosephX1
  • 27
    Su Orwells Burner @OrwellsBurner Shitting in the Dallas airport and a old janitor slid a mop under the stall and said "lift ya legs up for me partner" GIF ALT • 9:35 AM 12/27/25 4.5M Views 215 17 3.5K 60K 3.1K ↑
    via OrwellsBurner
  • 28
    sarah @JonesyFrotting Commentary account you can now officially have a full squad of the motherfuckers in fortnite supersonic16023 x ADD FRIEND 119 Not Ready Radmaan 97 7:51 PM 12/30/25 2.1M Views 187 14K FortChud 37 romeoiguess + Chat (Double-tap) Er 184K ☐ 12K ↑
    via JonesyFrotting
  • 29
    Bryce Greene @TheGreeneBJ Friend at Microsoft says that some departments at the company still use Windows 10 because the hardware requirements for Windows 11 would require spending a bunch of money replacing computers for no real benefit. . 10:11 AM 12/30/25 1.4M Views 289 17 7.8K 106K ☐ 5.1K ↑
    via TheGreeneBJ
  • 30
    ° wop... @acswybyler OH NETFLIX HIT THEM AGAIN FOR ME MJ Men's Journal Netflix Quietly Cancels 'Stranger Things' Creators' Next Show 2 days ago 11:50 PM 12/31/25 1M Views 150 17 3.8K 72K 3.1K ↑
    via acswybyler
  • 31
    Morchel @morchel Stranger Things Season 5 Finale (2025) behind the scenes 3:43 PM 1/1/26 294K Views 29 17884 34K ☐ 314
    via morchel
  • 32
    Endymion @EndymionYT $400 million dollars for the finale to look like this 5:55 PM 1/1/26 1.4M Views 209 1 5.7K Ma 134K ☐ 2.1K ↑
    via EndymionYT
  • 33
    Georgebabs @Georgebabs That is where gender equality comes in Mami Amah @ItsAmahAdoma. 1d As a man of the house, what is your next move? 11:15 AM 12/30/25 462K Views 211 17 2.2K 20K 335 企
    via Georgebabs_
  • 34
    Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti my ceiling fan watching me change the bed sheets 9:10 PM 12/30/25 572K Views 151 1 2.6K 42K 1.3K
    via 97Vercetti
  • 35
    Patrick Barron @BlueBarron Photo M Cheez-It Sampling Bar, featuring 10 different flavors of Cheez-Its CHEEZ-IT SAMPLING BAR ORIGINAL UFFALO WING CHEDDAR GROOVES SMOKED extra HOT GOUDA SPICY CHEESY extra Toasty CHEEZ-IT CITRUS BOWL
    via BlueBarronPhoto
  • 36
    Colin Dunlap @colin_dunlap I have no idea who is right and who is wrong - or what the email form said. But I just received, perhaps, the most hilarious texts I have ever received in my life .... Go Bucs. Today 7:46 PM So you remember the infamous Pittsburgh Pirates bricks? My partner had one made for his grandfather 20 plus years ago and it was destroyed. The Pirates sent him an email asking him to remember what it said so they could look up in their files to replicate the brick for him. His res
    via colin_dunlap
  • 37
    W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94 Someone at work is gonna suggest you download outlook and teams on your phone and it's very important that you don't listen to them 3:24 PM 12/31/25 1.1M Views 186 12.9K 24K 983 ↑
    via Tyre_94
  • 38
    Roubi @roubi_he First day of 2026 and I see someone running Doom on a labubu CALTH ARHOR
    via roubi_he
  • 39
    Bring Back Banjo @BringBackBanjok The older I get the more I realise that video games are easily one of the healthiest hobbies you could possibly have 10:26 AM 12/31/25 2.8M Views . 405 1 11K 132K ☐ 6.4K
    via BringBackBanjok
  • 40
    Iris Lewinsky @1R_1S remote control car and candy TMZ TMZ @TMZ. 19h Travis Kelce Says Taylor Swift Gave Him 'Best' Christmas Gift tmz.me/xpziTZt NEW EIGH ESPI CHICAGO • 4:45 PM 12/31/25 1.6M Views 58 1 2.3K SONIC 85K ☐ 1.2K ↑
    via 1R_1S
  • 41
    Moon Dragon @frozenaesthetic Chinese lore is insane, there will be some shit called "the shanghai misunderstanding" and it'll have 53 million casualties • 11:10 PM 12/28/25 494K Views 120 1 1.7K 29K ☐ 1.6K .↑.
    via frozenaesthetic

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